Category Archives: Prayer

When I Don’t Know The Answer

Patience, Prayer, Testimony

By Kristen Entwistle

I was sitting on a bench outside today, waiting for a friend.  While I was waiting, a man came over to me and asked if I could take a few photos for him.  I was happy to oblige, and after taking the pictures for him, I went to sit back down, and he sat down too.  He looked at me and asked, “I have to ask, are you married?”

Slightly taken aback, I answered, “No, I’m not.”

“Beautiful girl like you, how is it that you’re not married?”

I have a million answers to that question, but I simply answered, “I’m just not.”

If it hasn’t become clear to you yet, this guy was looking for something other than just a polite conversation.  After a few more questions, when he asked me for my phone number, I politely declined and he decided I wasn’t worth his time anymore, walking away.

This guy’s not the first one to ask me why I’m not married.  Nor will he be the last.  Truth is, many of my friends are married, having children, and moving forward with their lives.  Truth is, I haven’t ever had a date for a plus-one at a wedding, and that makes weddings…well, lonely.  Truth is, I haven’t been on a vacation this summer because I don’t want to go somewhere by myself.  Truth is, I’m feeling a little like a seventh wheel in my family right now, and a lot like a failure.

Truth is, I don’t really know the answer to that question.

I can come up with plenty of reasons why I think I’m still single.  Most of them I’ve heard from ex-boyfriends before.  No one wants to deal with your disease.  You’re not pretty enough for someone.  You’re too fat, too needy, too independent, too headstrong.  No one actually thinks you’re worth their time.  You’ve got too much baggage – no one wants that.  You’re not smart enough.  You’re not enough for any guy to care about you.  

But the truth is, although I may have it in my head that what I want is best, God’s will is better.  And right now, His will is not what I expected, but it is where I am.  And as hard as it may be sometimes, I have to find a way to be okay with where God has me right now.

So I pour into those around me, and do my best to be a blessing to them.  And in turn, they have been a blessing to me.

I may not have a good answer to that question, but I do know that God’s not finished with me yet.  His plan is infinitely better than anything I could ever dream.  And whatever that means for the future, I know that He is good, and His love endures forever.

Praying In The Waiting Room

Patience, Prayer, Waiting

By Kristen Entwistle

When I sit in doctor’s offices, waiting (which is fairly often if you’re me), I tend to people-watch. Most of the time, there’s the mom with two kids who she has to take back with her, even though it’s her appointment. She looks frazzled and a little overwhelmed as they lead her back to the room. There’s the teenager who’s here with her mom, and her mom is trying to micromanage everything she writes on the sheet the receptionist hands her. The daughter gets frustrated (I can do it myself!), and quits talking to her mom, finishing the paperwork with a scowl on her face. There’s the older couple in the corner, with the man nodding off while his wife reads a magazine. The receptionists continue clacking away on their keyboards. Then a man walks in, sits down, a look of fear in his eyes. He’s expecting bad news, it seems. A pregnant woman walks in alone, no ring on her finger. I wonder what has brought her here today – herself or her baby.

I’ve spent a significant portion of my life in doctor’s offices, waiting. Perhaps not so patiently, but waiting nonetheless. And I’ve spent much time watching.

And yet I cannot physically help any of these people.

I cannot take away their diabetes or asthma or pain. But I want to, so badly, to tell them that it doesn’t have to be terrible. That good can come from these ‘bad’ things. I’ve seen it.

But the only way that happens is with God.

And so, as I sit here waiting, I pray for these people – sitting here, waiting with me. I pray that if they don’t know Christ, that someone will come into their path to tell them about the love that He has for them. I pray that if they do know Christ, that they would lean on Him in the tough times and the good times, and that they would be a light to those they come in contact with, even in this office today.

And I pray the same for you, even though you aren’t in this office right now.

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:17-19)

Amen.