Category Archives: marriage

Covenant Communion

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By Kristen Mudrack

Communion Meditation, Grandview Christian Church – March 31, 2019

Most little girls dream about their wedding day.  They prance around in little white dresses and wait for prince charming to come bounding in on his white horse to save them.  As my dad used to say, though, prince charming is a myth and you’d have nowhere to keep the horse.

My first serious boyfriend told me on his way out the door that I wasn’t ever going to find anyone who could love me – and then enumerated several reasons.  My college roommate was always being chased by guys, but I was just the cute girl’s roommate. When I moved on to graduate school, I was too focused on getting my degree to worry about boys – and none of them wanted me anyway.  By the time I met my now-husband, I had pretty much given up on getting married. I figured that God might have different plans, and I was okay with that. (Cliché, I know. But stick with me – my story has a purpose)

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But God, in His infinite wisdom, saw fit to give me what I desired as a little girl but never thought I would have.  In December of 2017, I entered into a covenant with God and my husband, in the presence of friends and family. On that day, I promised to love, cherish, honor, and serve my husband in all circumstances of life – till death do us part.  I didn’t have to cut animals in half and walk between them like Abraham, I didn’t have to set up an altar and sacrifice on it daily like the Israelites. The marriage license that I signed was an outward sign of our covenant, but the words we promised each other are what we remember, and what we seek to do well, with God’s help.  

This table before us is another covenant.  One that cost our Lord His life. But when we entered into this covenant by choice, we didn’t promise to love, honor, cherish, and serve Him till death do us part.  He promised to love us and cherish us – till death do us restore.

For death did not part us.  Christ’s death and resurrection restores us to the relationship that we were meant to have with our Creator and God.  This table – the bread and the cup – is the outward expression of the covenant God has made with us. We didn’t do anything to deserve it, and there’s nothing we can do to earn it.  It is a gift, freely given. Costly to our Savior, but given freely to us.

From the Fall, our relationship with God has been broken.  The covenants He made with Noah, Abraham, David, the Israelites – all were on the way to the fulfillment of restoring that relationship with His creation.  In the person of His Son, through his death and resurrection, God bridged the gap and invited us to be in personal relationship with Him.

Restoration won’t be fully complete until that day when Jesus comes again.  As a kid, I shouldn’t have been waiting for prince charming on the white horse.  I should have been waiting for the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Alpha and the Omega, the cornerstone, the beginning and the end – to come when that trumpet sounds and fulfill the plan of restoration.  

You are the one God wants to restore.  If you were the only person on Earth, Jesus still would have died for you.  He invites you to this table today to come and eat. To remember and remind us of the covenant he made with you and with me to restore all the world to himself.  

For it was on the night that Jesus was betrayed that he took a loaf of bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat.  This is my body, broken for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, he took the cup after supper, saying, “This is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for the forgiveness of sins.  Take and drink.”

For as often as we eat this bread and drink this cup, we proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes again.  

A Wife’s Reflection on the First Year of Marriage

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By Kristen Mudrack

As my husband and I were preparing for our wedding, we made the decision that we would focus more on the marriage than the wedding.  We wanted it to be nice, yes, but it was more important to us that we start off married life on the right foot.

So we read books and blogs.  We talked to pastors and friends.  We watched others around us who were married (both happily and not).  We talked about everything under the sun – things that we were comfortable with and things that we were not.

Everyone said that the first year was hard.  Everyone said that it was going to be tough.  Everyone said that we’d fight more than we did when we were engaged, that we’d need to find ways to do our own thing and not smother the other person.  Everyone made the first year of marriage out to be the worst thing ever.

But I didn’t feel that way.  Sure, we had our moments of eye-rolling and frustration with each other’s habits.  We had to figure out how to budget differently.  We had to figure out how live together.

But honestly, I like living together.  I like having someone to come home to.  I like having someone to cook with and watch TV with.  I like having someone to serve God with.  I like having someone to love.

The first year of marriage wasn’t a chore.  It wasn’t hard work.  It came easily to us because we took the time to work through some things when we were engaged.  We talk about things now, when they come up.  We don’t just let things fester.  We take every chance we get to be together – and we miss each other when we’re gone, even if it’s only for an hour.

Yes, much has changed.  But it’s changed in a good way.  Being married has made me realize more of what it means to serve someone else, to put someone else before yourself.  Being married has made me realize again how flawed and broken I am, and has made me infinitely grateful that someone would be willing to walk into my mess.

Being married has made me appreciate the little things – when he makes my tea in the morning or warms up the car before work.  It’s made me appreciate the big things too – the way he can handle a disaster (like our apartment flooding) with patience and grace, the way he can make me smile, the ways in which we can serve God together.

Cody makes me a better person.  He makes me a better friend.  He challenges me, encourages me, loves me, frustrates me, and makes me laugh.  We have fun together, we work together, we serve together.  I know it’s cliche, but he’s my better half, my best friend.  I thank God every day that He has given me the person I needed to walk through life with.  He complements me and I complement him, which is one of the things that makes us works so well together.

I’m sure there will be challenges ahead.  That’s life.  But I’m looking forward to what God has for us in the coming years, and I’m looking forward to continuing to serve God together.

A Husband’s Reflections on the First Year of Marriage

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By Cody Mudrack

This past year has been the best year of my life. I’m not kidding either; I got married almost exactly 11 months ago.  It is said that everything changes when you get married, and I’m no exception. The things that I did before seem so foreign to me now. I know it’s only been 11 months, but I’ve changed so much over those months that I can barely recognize the person before.

I moved to Tennessee right after we got married, so I’ve currently been here 11 months, but I’m originally from northern Indiana. I think that’s the one thing that has allowed me to grow so much as a person. I’ve eliminated everything that I used to know in favor of the great beyond; in favor of what lies next. By getting away, I’ve allowed myself to examine who I am – think about what I believe and why I believe it. I didn’t just change one part of my life like what would be true if I had stayed in northern Indiana, I changed literally everything: I went from having a job to having no job; having great friends to having no one except my wife, my best friend; having a great church to attending new, different one; having family nearby to only seeing them every several months or so.

I think it’s important to get away for a while. To leave what you know in search of meaning and purpose. When you change your surroundings, you are forced to think differently and consider things that you never did before. You get different inputs, which is instrumental in discovering if your current ones are valid and useful. Some people go away on a weekend “get-a-way”, and while these can be useful, I don’t think that they are sufficient for deep reflection.

One thing that has been difficult for me is not having a job. It’s just the male desire that I must provide for my family. But let us explore that for a moment. Is this feeling valid? Should I have a job? We aren’t doing bad financially; my wife makes enough to support us both, and she’s also very supportive of making sure I have a job that I want, not just any job. This I appreciate, but it’s against my intuition. I was taught that a job is for providing for your family and nothing more. It isn’t for making friends, it isn’t a place to have fun or to enjoy, it’s about making money to provide for your family. It’s ok to make friends and have fun at work but never forget the primary reason you’re there. This advice is how I survived five years in a fiberglass factory. Now I believe this is sound advice, but I also feel it is incomplete. Yes, a job is for making money, but it doesn’t have to be unenjoyable. I do believe that you should learn to be content with whatever you currently have – again, fiberglass factory; 5 years – but there’s also nothing wrong with seeking a position that doesn’t crush your soul – finding a new job when you can’t take any more of your current one. This is what my wife was getting at when she said she wants me to have a job I enjoy. She just wants me to be happy and now I have the opportunity to study what I want to do. So, should I have a job? Not right now. My goal right now is to get through school, so later I can get a job in something I enjoy.

This brings up another point I’m learning: being dependent on other people. Our society today is so caught up in doing things yourself and being independent. But is self-sufficiency really the goal? According to Stephen Covey, no it isn’t. In his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Covey explains that independence is only part way to our overall journey toward being an effective person. The ultimate goal is interdependence. This is different from the first stage, dependence and it is different from the second stage, independence. Dependence says “You should do this for me. You’re the reason for my problems,” independence says “I can do this on my own. I can solve my own problems.” The last stage is different. Interdependence says “Together, we can accomplish more than we could separately. We can overcome this problem more effectively if we work together.” Marriage is all about interdependence and in this stage of my life, I am forced to put my pride aside and depend on my wife for financial support. Being a man, this isn’t easy. I don’t care if she makes more money than me, I just feel that I need to be contributing somehow. However, I need to remember that being interdependent is the goal. I may not be helping financially right now, but my wife is willing to taking up the financial responsibility so that I can improve myself in order to be more effective later on.

This year has been a major step in my journey and it hasn’t been easy, but I’m excited to discover what God has in store for me.

I Want Them To See Jesus

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“I want to have a marriage just like you and Daddy, someday.”

I want my kids to say that, someday.  And no, this isn’t something you’ll be hearing soon, so just squash those rumors before they begin.

But I want my kids to say it.  And in order for them to say that, I need to show them a marriage worth imitating.  I need to show them Christ’s relationship with the church.  I need to show them Christ’s relationship with me.

In this fallen and broken world, my sinful and selfish nature wants to rule.  I am wired to do things for me, because I want to, and because I think it’s okay.  When Christ came into my heart to rule as king in my life, all of that changed.  Not my sinful human nature – no, I war against that every day.  But He took my sin and my shame and nailed it to a cross and called me to a higher place: forgiveness and grace.

He forgives me when I don’t ask for it.  He gives me second chance after second chance after second chance when I’ve screwed up twenty times over.  He covers me with a grace that I do not for one minute deserve.

And that is what He has called me to do in relationship with my husband.  That’s what He’s called me to model to my children, to the people around me – be they students or coworkers or friends.

I want to be a wife after God – one who seeks her husband’s good over her own, and one who seeks God above all.  I want to be a wife who loves unconditionally and forgives without expecting anything in return.  I want to freely give grace because it has been freely given to me.

I will not do it perfectly, but that is what I want my children to see.  Humility.  Grace.  Forgiveness.  Love.  In short, I want them to see Jesus in my marriage.