May is CF awareness month.  I’ve never really paid much attention to it before, but this year, a Foundation that I follow on Facebook has taken to asking a question about CF every day and giving away prizes for the correct answers.  They’re the basic questions so far – how many copies of the defective gene must you have to get CF? Does a lung transplant cure CF? What color is associated with CF awareness?  What test is used to diagnose CF?  What drug made major advances for CF in the last year? How many people are diagnosed with CF in the US?  (Answers: 2, no, purple, sweat test, kalydeco, 30,000)  But rather than simply give the answers, some people have been posting to the comments things about their kids who have CF or their own situations, or their friends who have CF… But what has stopped me in my tracks when reading these comments is the negativity, the complaining.  The Boomer Esiason Foundation also has a twitter account and have a number of hashtags trending, such as #CureCF, #CFTrivia, and #Cureitfast.  I’m not a big fan of hashtags to begin with, but one that a patient/parent/friend used once really bothers me for some reason: #CFsucks

I didn’t say that it wasn’t true.  I just said I didn’t like it.  Rather than complain about our situation, or that Kalydeco isn’t available for our specific mutation, or that your two kids are two too many to have CF, or that lung transplants aren’t a cure, or that CF sucks, why don’t we get off of our high horses and realize for one minute that there is more to life than this, and that in fact our CF could be a blessing to both ourselves and others.

There is more to life than treatments and hospitals and doctors and PICC lines and being sick.  Yes, it is something we have to deal with, but we are not defined by it.  I am not my disease.  It may limit me, beat me down, and drive me to my knees more times and in more ways than I can count, but I refuse to let it rule my life.  It influences my career, my research, my friendships, my life, but it is not who I am.  I am a child of God, a musician, a student, a researcher, a scientist, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a colleague, a Bible study leader, a singer, a girlfriend, a teacher, a swimmer, a runner, a volleyball player, and a patient who has CF.  The first and the last things on that list are the only ones that are really in order.  The rest come in different circumstances and with different people, but I am first and foremost a child of God.  I am loved beyond imagination, and I don’t deserve any of it.  I am a great sinner, but Christ is a great Savior.  And at the end of my list comes CF.  It does not define me, though it influences me.  It is not the first thing I want people to see of me, nor is it usually the first thing I tell people.  I have chosen to not be bitter (though I have my days), to not complain about it (though, again, I have my days), to get up and do something about it rather than answer trivia questions in May on Facebook, to use my sphere of influence to show Christ through my CF rather than me.  I don’t always get it perfectly, and I screw up more times than I can count.  But let’s take #CFsucks out of our vocabulary and get rid of the short 100 and some character tweets and actually start talking to each other, telling our stories of difficulty and triumph in the same breath, and giving praise to the One who went through so much more for us than we could ever imagine.  (Maybe we could get rid of hashtags altogether, that would be nice…).  We need to realize that no matter what we go through here on this earth, be it CF, cancer, divorce, abuse, and more that I don’t have space to name, we can be a light to someone else.  One of my favorite Bible study authors, Beth Moore, has chosen to use her story of childhood abuse to influence millions of women worldwide.  Steve Chance, a family friend, has chosen to use his cerebral palsy to minister to college kids all over the United States.  Friends at church have used their stories of struggling to find work, running away from God, surviving cancer, raising children alone, a difficult marriage, ailing parents and so much more to influence the lives of those around them.

So let’s get up out of our chairs, and walk through those church doors out into a world where we can be real, honest people, who lead broken, messed up, hurting lives, but who have chosen to rise above it – not in our own strength, but in the power and love of the One who gave it all for us.  No more #CFsucks – instead #PraisetotheOnewhogaveitallforme and #Thankyou and #LivingforHimwithCF.  Okay, take the ridiculous hashtags out and what do you have?  A broken, sinful person who has been saved by grace alone through faith alone by Christ alone, who does not let her disease define her, but who wants to live every day for Him, through everything, no matter what, and who will use her CF for His glory in whatever way she is called to.  That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy or that I won’t be tempted to complain or give up sometimes – but it does mean that Christ is with me, walking with me, molding me into the woman He wants me to be.