I write this mostly for myself, but share it in the hopes that someone will be blessed by these words. -Kristen

When I was a child, I loved Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.  I got to make cards and macaroni necklaces and all sorts of other odd things that my parents would love (or claim to love) and shower them with love and attention and gifts.  How could someone not love this day?

Then I grew up, and started to realize that Mother’s Day wasn’t like that for everyone.  Some people had lost mothers, others had strained relationships with them.  Some people lived far away from their mothers and this day wasn’t the same. 

Then all of my friends started getting married and having kids.  And I started to wonder: why did they get to be mothers but not me?  What did I have to do differently to get to be a mother?  Was it really just those who had children of their own that got to be celebrated on Mother’s Day?  Or was there more to it than that?  There are some people who choose not to have kids.  Does that make them any less than those who do?  There are others who have difficulty conceiving, those who adopt, and those who have children of their own. 

But what does it really mean to be a mother?

Being a mother means doing what is best for someone else over yourself.  Being a mother means opening your arms and your heart to a hurting, rejoicing, grieving, or elated child – no matter their age.  Being a mother means giving of yourself to someone else when it’s hard to keep going yourself.  Being a mother means taking care of someone when they are sick, lonely, or afraid.  Being a mother means consistently putting someone else before yourself. 

I can name several kids over the years to whom I am an “adopted aunt”.  I have several students who call me their “school mom”.  Even though I don’t have kids of my own, does this make me any less of a woman, any less of a mother than you who are blessed with one, two, or more children of your own? 

Perhaps it does.  Perhaps I am not a mother in the truest sense of the word, but that does not mean that I do not get to be a mother to some of those who cross my path, whether they are four years old or in my care for four years as a college student.  I love those kids as if they were my own. 

So if you are struggling with all of the happy posts about Mother’s Day and grieving over your loss, be it a miscarriage or the death of your mom, if you are tired of explaining to those who ask why you don’t want to have kids, or if you are yearning to be a mom yourself, or if you chose to give your child up for adoption after birth, please know that you are enough.  You are enough as you are, and you have the opportunity to be a mother to so many who come across your path.  Don’t let that opportunity slide by just because those kids don’t share your DNA.