Tag Archives: Broken

A Faith Walk That Matches Your Faith Talk

By Kristen Entwistle

I am an insecure, imperfect, young, follower of Christ.  I do not get everything right, nor do I always say (or write) the right thing.  But for some reason, God has given me a platform to speak His truth into people’s lives.  Me – that imperfect, insecure, young girl.  He chose me.

Fortunately, I’m not alone.  The next woman that we come to in the Hall of Faith is Rahab, a woman of not-so-great occupation, but great faith.

Before the Israelites crossed over the Jordan River, Joshua sent two spies to check out the city of Jericho.  Joshua chapter 2 records that the spies “went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there.” (Joshua 2:1, NIV)

The first thing we learn about Rahab is that she is a prostitute.  Not the most ringing endorsement for a woman who ends up in the genealogy of King David, and therefore Christ, but it’s certainly not the last thing we learn about her.

Heb 11 31Download Chapter 9 now!




Messy Canvas Of Life

By Kristen Entwistle

I’m not a super-crafty person.  For example, when I try to paint something, it usually ends up looking like a 2-year-old’s art project that you hang on the fridge – which is cute from a 2-year-old, but not from a 24-year old.  Needless to say, my ‘art’ is usually recycled with the cardboard boxes.

Think of your life as a canvas.  Everything shows up on it – the good, the bad, and the ugly.   You try to cover up the things that you don’t want others to see – which usually ends up just making it look messy.  You try to paint over the mistakes – sometimes it works, but then the paint starts peeling.  Maybe there’s a corner of your canvas that you’ve tried to keep white.  And now it’s got smudges.  Maybe your canvas, like mine, ends up looking more like a mess than a beautiful picture.  Maybe your life, like mine, ends up looking a little messy.  You begin to wonder if God wants your mess, your brokenness.  Your messy canvas of life. But, my friend,

It’s those messes that God uses in His glorious masterpiece.  

Up close, the giant canvas of God’s plan looks a little splotchy, a little messy, a little disjointed.  Up close, it looks like it doesn’t all fit together.  But as you step further away, you begin to see it.

All of the broken pieces fit together perfectly.

All of the smudges look like they were meant to be.

All of the colors blend seamlessly together.

But it’s all made up of messy pieces.  Messy canvases.  My life.  Your life.

The great grace of God brings together all of our broken, scratched, smudged, messy pieces and puts them together in just the right way to bring about His plan, His masterpiece.

He wipes our canvas clean when we accept Him as Savior. 

And then He starts painting. 

Our canvas may still look like a mess to us.  But when God is done, when we see ourselves in the bigger picture, our messy life fits perfectly into exactly what He wanted us to be: His children.

messy canvas

To You, No Matter Where You Are Today

By Kristen Entwistle

Walking down the street, I see people hurting.  I see people putting on a smile even though their heart is breaking.  I see people who are in trouble.  I see people who are incredibly and indescribably happy.  I see people who are searching for something.  I see people who need a word of encouragement today.

Maybe you’re one of those people I passed on the street this morning (figuratively, of course) and you need to hear that you are not alone.  You are not the only one who is struggling.  You are not the only one who is hurting.  You are not the only one who is smiling through tears.  You are not the only one who needs Jesus.  May these words encourage you today, wherever you may be walking, whatever your circumstances, and whenever you may be feeling these emotions.

To the weary and overwhelmed, you are not alone.  It may seem like there is no end to this tunnel right now.  It probably seems like your world is crashing down around you and that nothing is ever going to change.  Rest assured, you are not alone.  Christ has offered us rest in Him.  Take your cares to Him, lay your burdens at His feet.  He will care for you in this time of need, even though it may not be what you are expecting.  When you are overwhelmed, run to Jesus.  His perfect peace will wash over you – maybe as a gentle whisper, maybe as the crashing of the waves on the sea.  But He will give you rest, and He will give you His peace.  You need only come to the feet of Jesus.

To the joyful and happy, you are not alone.  It’s clear from your face that you are enjoying a time of plenty right now.  Share it with others, if you can.  Be the person who brings a smile to someone else’s face because you are just so joyful that it’s contagious.  Share what God has done in your life and praise Him for it.  Praise Him now, and praise Him when the happiness fades and the true joy remains.

To the sick and sorrowing, you are not alone.  Maybe you are physically sick right now, and you can’t seem to even get out of bed.  Perhaps it is your heart that is sorrowful, mourning the loss of a child, a parent, a friend.  It is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick; not the blue skies that need the sun, but the grey.  Christ is the great healer, the Son that we need.  He may not physically heal you or bring your loved one back to you right now, but He has promised us a better future where there will be no more sickness, and we will be with Him forever.  Have faith that there are better things coming, friend.  Hold on, because better days are coming.

To the blessed and in awe, you are not alone.  Share your awe with those around you.  Perhaps it is the birth of a child or the new job that you didn’t expect, or the expectation of a bright future with the person you love of which you are in awe.  Shout it from the mountaintops that Christ is good, that His love endures forever!  Share it with your church, your friends, the person on the corner.  Don’t hold you joy and awe inside, tell the world what Christ has done in your life.

To the battered and broken, you are not alone.  It may seem like this time of trial won’t ever come to an end.  It may seem like nothing good could ever come of it.  But take heart, friend, for He has overcome the world.   Nothing escapes His perfect plan, no rain returns to the sky without first watering the Earth.  These trials are only going to make you into more of the person that He is shaping you to be.  Take this time of molding to come to the cross and remember that Christ died for you.  He died to save your soul, and better days are coming.  Keep praying for that rain upon your life.  It will come.

To the confident and assured, you are not alone.  It seems like everything has fallen into place lately, the future is certain.  Keep the door open, though, because something that God has planned for you might come along, and you certainly don’t want to miss it.  Enjoy this time of certainty, and be sure to praise Him for it.  Share it with the friends and family around you, and tell the world that He is good.

To the unsure and apprehensive, you are not alone.  In this time of the unknown, rest in the peace that God has a plan, and that He will carry it out in His perfect time.  That doesn’t make it any easier now, but pray for peace, comfort, and wisdom.  He will surely grant it to you.

When Your Walls Fall Down

By Kristen Entwistle

When you were a kid, did you build towers with the big cardboard blocks?  Maybe you built the highest tower possible, or maybe you were the kid that ran around knocking down everyone else’s towers.

When I was a kid, I liked to build walls around myself.  Enclose myself in so that the walls were all around me.

And I’ve done the same thing with my life.

Maybe, like me, you’ve built walls around your life.  You convince yourself that they keep your heart safe.  You convince yourself that the higher your walls, the safer you are.  You convince yourself that the thicker your walls, the less people can see of the real you, and that’s a good thing.  Because if they were really to see your sin, your hurt, your brokenness, your pain – they wouldn’t want to know you.  They’d run in the other direction.

I used to think that my walls were my security, my protection from the world, from the hurt. 

That if I had higher, thicker walls, no one could see the real me: the ugly, torn, and worn girl who does not see herself as beautiful; the girl who struggles with feelings of worth and inadequacy; the girl with the life-shortening illness; the girl who is alone; the hurt, broken, sinner in desperate need of a Savior.

When we build up our walls, we end up pretending.  Pretending to be someone we’re not.  Pretending that those words didn’t hurt; that being rejected…again…wasn’t painful.  Pretending that it’s all okay on the outside but falling hopelessly apart on the inside.  Pretending that we don’t struggle with things, too.  Pretending that our past isn’t as checkered as the flag at the end of the race.  Pretending that we don’t have secrets we’d rather keep hidden.

Take a few minutes and listen to this song, from Tenth Avenue North, Healing begins:

So let ‘em fall down,

There’s freedom waiting in the sound,

When you let your walls fall to the ground.

We’re here now.

This is where the healing begins,

This is where the healing starts. 

When you come to where you’re broken within,

The light meets the dark.

So you’re telling me that if I let my walls down, let down my guard, let people see the real me, the messed up, broken me – that it will bring freedom?  Oh, more than that, dear friend.  It will bring healing.  Healing from the heartache, the guilt, and the pain.  As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed your sins from you (Psalm 103:12).  All of your scars, all of your sins – they are forgotten to Him.

The walls you and I hide behind aren’t doing us any favors.  They aren’t helping us or anyone else.  In fact, when people see the real you – the struggles, the brokenness, the weakness, the imperfection – they see the grace of our Savior.  They see a God whose power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).  They see that they are not alone in their struggles.  They are reminded that He is faithful.

And letting your walls down reminds you that you are not alone.

Your Testimony


By Kristen EntwistleYour-testimony-300x150Sharing your testimony is a phrase that we throw around a lot in Christian circles.  For a long time, I didn’t think that I had a testimony.  When people shared their testimonies at summer camp, retreats, or from the pulpit, they were always testimonies that were so heart-breaking yet so powerful and moving that they spoke of a great God.  I didn’t think there was any way that I could measure up to that.

It was at a Christian summer camp in middle school that started to change my mind. Our group traveled into the city to a park, where we were asked to share our testimony with some inner city kids.

The guy before me pulled out one of those perfect testimonies
that left my heart in pieces on the floor
and my hands raised to our eternal God. 

His story: being misdiagnosed at birth with the very disease that I have.

Well, that put my “testimony” in the trash.  I took the paper out of my pocket and ripped it up.  I don’t remember what I said.  The one thing I remember is that I told them that I had Cystic Fibrosis (CF).  I’m pretty sure I started crying at that point and sat down.

But I still was convinced that other people’s testimonies
were better than my nonexistent one. 

It wasn’t until my senior year in college that God showed me how very wrong I was.  My pastor at the time asked if I would be willing to share my testimony during the service one Sunday.

I said no.

He kept asking, and eventually I said yes, just so that he would quit asking.  Having no clue what to say, I prayed and then sat down and started to write.  And as I wrote, I found myself being honest and vulnerable and I saw God’s hand in my life, leading me from before I was conceived until now.

I thought that I was just a person with an early expiration date that couldn’t do anything for the Kingdom.

I thought that my struggles were my own and that no one else struggled with them too.

I thought that God could never use a person so broken as me.

I thought that that I didn’t have a testimony to share.

I thought that my testimony was about me. 

But here’s the thing:

Your testimony is not about what you have overcome in life, though that is part of it.

Your testimony is not about what you have suffered in life, though that is part of it.

Your testimony is not about you, though you are the vessel through which it is brought to others.

Your testimony is about a God who has known you from before you were born.

Your testimony is about a God who has brought you through the fire so that you can be refined.  Your testimony is about a God who has been by your side and who has loved you even when you have walked away from Him.  Your testimony is about a God who sent His one and only Son to redeem the world.  Your testimony is about a God who chose you: a broken, beautiful, bold child of God.

So no matter how broken you think you are, no matter how far you have strayed, no matter how boring you may think your life is, God has done something in you.  He has redeemed you, and He is working out your testimony in His time.  You may not be able to see it right now.  God’s not done with you yet.  But that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a testimony right now.

So share your life with people, share with them the God that has redeemed you.  Share with them the power of our great God.

Share with them the God who knows you and loves you no matter what. 

Because you are a testament to God’s great love, and that is a powerful testimony.  It’s your testimony.  

*This post first appeared at brokenbeautifulbold.com*